dear me.. [♥]

im getting really lazy. i havnt written on this thing for soo long. but i havnt really done anything new. just cleaned my room and closet. and i feel really horrible about being fat. arrgghh.. i just cant stop eating for some messed up reason. damnit.

Posted in ` daily life..

today i.. [im kinda lazy right now.]

woke up and made the bed.

ate breakfast.

showered.

went with papa to pick vanessa up and happened to think of calling jorge.

then jorge picked up and they happened to be at school.

so i hung out with them after we [papa me and nessa] ate at wendys.

i hung with jorge, &novi. i talked with leonne, frank, ulisis, daylen, and roseanne.

worked out

ate dinner

talked with frank for the longest time.

found out bout rosey talking stuff bout me.

got pissed

talked to chakki on ym and cute on ym txt.

told them about that person being rude to me on fs.

yea that was about it. i still have to read the daily purpose driven thing. so.. i gotta go! i really need to motivate myself more with going to sleep early and DiETiNG!! omfg.

Posted in ` daily life..

woahh.. mkei i didnt expect that i would cry today/tonight/earlier. well.. coz i was reading the 2nd chapter of the purpose driven life and it was talking about how im not an accident and that God chose who my parents are and everything in my life and all the challenges that ive gone through is just part of the plan to shape who i am. that really hit me.. i think i maybe i am supposed to be hurting like this. and that i'm probably most likely not the only one who hurts like this. i'd quote the poem in there right now but im too lazy to get up. i'll do it tomorrow or something. well speaking of tomorrow.. i have to wake up early to come with my grandpa to pick up tito raffy. arrghh.. i have to share my room. actually he gets my room. but well, its only for a day. so what am i to lose.

my day was really tiring today. but really i basically did only 3 things. went to the clinic with my aunt, work out, computer. so yea i woke up.. well my aunt woke me up. and i hurried to get ready to come with her to the clinic. they both had appointments. and these women thought that shane was my own baby.! haha.. i was all wtf?! in my head. lol it was kinda funny though. then we went home around 5ish and i got dressed to go to the gym. and nadine was there. so yea i went to the gym and worked out with her and stuff. then got home and cleaned up a little and ate. oh yea i ate a little breakfast too. which was like 1/4 of a cupcake, a nutrition cereal bar, ahm.. and half toast. hm? yea dinner was good. it was fish fillet and chicken desarsa. and i had bread too. then i had icecream with some crushed cookies and cereal in it. lol haha.. it made me guilty on a count of i almost weigh 130 f*cking pounds right now.

well. mkei.. that was about it. thats all i did. i just used the computer all day. oh yea we watched a documentary movie cloverfield today too. it was pretty cool ;] and i'm really puyat na right now. i am lacking so much sleep right now its ridiculous. and whats even more ridiculous is how big and deep my eyebags are right now. yea i know its my fault but still!? i hate my eyebags. arggh. damnit.! its 3:15 am. i think i should sleep soon.

thats it.

Posted in ` daily life..

well. this is my first entry bout my day. and all i can say is that its not much. lol, its just a whole bunch of sitting on my ass and typing.. maybe eating a little bit [but i'm trying to cut back for the time being that i am here in the states] and i am exercising [again im taking advantage of the gym here]. thats about it.

so i woke up around almost 11ish.. i didnt get up until almost 12ish just coz i was watching something on tv. then i ate breakfast which was cereal [honey bunches of oats mixed with cinammon toast crunch] and my uncle and cousin were already eating their breakfast by then. so then i washed the dishes and started to sit on my ass and used the computer. yea.. thats basically the whole part of my day. i ate some bites of corned beef too at around 3ish?? coz yea i got hungry. and a little bit of a cookie that i've been eating for 3days now. some taisan and a few bites of 'pancit' mm.. yummy. but i think i ate alot already!!

my grandpa cooked some really good chicken barbeque. yum! but we're all trying to cut down in this house which is really sort of funny. so theres no rice. just bread. and veggies. and some other stuff. lol.. my grandma came and we worked out. and MAN i WAS SO BEAT!! that was probably the most i worked out ever!! i ran 3miles, then i did some 150 situps or something.. then joined my grandma at dance steps.. which was actually really fun and i enjoyed it because it involved me shaking my ass. lol.. the instructress and i had some kind of showdown with shaking. haha! and dammnn was i tired. then we went to alderwood just to buy redmango yogurt which is delicious i should say.. but not better than cold stone which i'm trying very hard to hold back from because its sooo fattening! i know right.. im 15 and worrying about calories?? well. thats how it is these days. everyones either fat or skinny. and im under fat.

speaking of fat. it annoys me how people in the philippines would always judge and compare like that. i mean.. im not fat. im not skinny either. but if they didnt point out to me everytime i looked like i'd grown i probably wouldnt be as mad as my body as i am. i'd probably like my body! but anyway..

well. then i ate dinner. a little of chicken breast and some bread and veggies. theni ate my yogurt ;] oh i forgot.. i showered too before i ate ofcourse coz i was soo wet from sweat! damn! haha.

im gonna start reading the purpose driven too. maybe i can find some reassurance or something. or maybe i can find something that can make me skinnier, make my boobs bigger, and my mind less paranoid. ;] jp.. thats about it.

Posted in ` daily life..